#ihatefestivitiescuzitmakesmesad

It’s daddy’s birthday. It’s a reunion dinners and gatherings week. It’s Chinese New Year come Friday.

I’ve missed so many birthdays, so many celebrations, so many festive seasons, so many moments, so many laughters, so many people in life.

…which makes me annoyed when people – no, when closed ones – are warring over little little things. Things that are barely hurtful should you let them bypass your unreasonably gigantic ego.

They say “you don’t know the good things you have until you lose them”. It’s true, sometimes even cherishing the moment is not enough. Yet, some of us are at war. Not with another human being but with our own ego, our own sensitivity, our own fragility, our own expectations.

5 years, and I though I am strong enough – mentally and emotionally – to cope with that quietness in days that should be filled with wailing laughters. I must have overestimate myself.

Here I am: ranting to an unwatched space on a 15-inch screen from underneath my 4-year old desk in a dark room with a box of tissue.

MEH. :/

I guess I am still not emotionally detached and independent.

Yours Truly

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