I’m sorry I’m plain
I am not an interesting person. In fact, I’m so dull I spend 7 days working 2 jobs.
And whenever I have free time, I try to –
- work on side projects,
- take up a new language,
- write stories that no one would ever [get to] read,
- do some exhausting 5 hours hike or dragon boating that took half the day away,
- dance like a cow,
- record silly videos of my bad singing and then be amused at myself,
- watch horrific and gore movies to scare the sh*t out of myself,
- catch up on the sleeping hours I ought to have.
But most of the time, I’m just working.
I’d really love to catch up with old and new friends. I’d love to go on dates like my friends do. I’d love to dress up pretty, paint my face and go party every weekend nights. I’d love to go to the theater (god knows how long I’ve not been to a show OR movie). I’d love to go away on a long-enough camping trip somewhere secluded. I’d love to not constantly checking work emails, or even think of “what’s next”.
I guess my sensible self get hold of me most of the time.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m focusing too much on my main, that I’ve forgotten to enjoy my sides too.
I would never know how puppy love in high school feels like. I’d love to not be socially awkward. I’d wish I flirt so well and go on dates so casually like it’s my job description. I should have learn all the things girls are meant to be good at. I would like to be genuinely interested in malicious gossips and dramas. I hope my ‘list-of-unimpressive-achievements’ could be much impressive. I hope my main isn’t just about leaving a boring legacy.
So yea, I am sorry I’m not an interesting person. I am sorry I could not hold a conversation long enough. I am sorry that despite I tried to be, I don’t think I would ever be your type of fun girl.
[Even a random stranger thinks my name is an old, boring name *sad face*]
And the sad truth is, I’ve made myself complacent with being unnoticed – although it does hurt the pride a bit sometimes.