A Dream That Will Come True In Time

Bonjour étranger

Travel. When you can. When you’re young. When you’re still able to. Travel While You’re Young

Okay, so the article is probably overrated. The saying or advice from a random someone is most likely oversell – we’ve heard of it so many times *roll eyes*.

But, do we all heed it and just go? No. Because we have our ‘buts’. Because everyone has a role to play and obligations to fulfil.

Me too.

Yet at one point, life seems so meaningless. So dull that I thought “what the hell am I doing with my life right now?!”. That I started doubting everyone’s intention. That I started blaming everything that ‘holds me down’.

What holds us down was ourselves

Till this day, I still regret for the things I didn’t do when I was younger. The road that I didn’t take. The trip that I gave up on.

I wanted to do a gap year after high school, and travel to Europe. Sounds legit, right? Then Mom worried that I’m too young to know what I am doing.

I postponed.

And then I tried to prove that I am independent and I know what it takes. After I finished my 2.5 years of college – in which during the time I did not travel anywhere due to commitments – the urge to pack and leave soared. Mom thought it would be better to travel with friends. Every friends had better plans – to pursue their disciplines – and no one has time for ‘holidays’.

I postponed. I came abroad to study. *least that is something rather than staying put* Lucky I did get to visit Dubai and Egypt for a month =)

Now that I’m working, it just seems harder: to apply for leave and go away from your sea of work emails. The upside, I told myself, is that I’m earning my own now and I could save intensively. I started a travelling fund.

The plan: Drop everything in 2015 and just pack n’ go.

My parents may disagree that I should have a house funds, future planning, career. My grandparents would probably be thinking it’s about time you settle down. Etc and etc… What they don’t know is that this has been haunting me. It may have taken me a decade to materialise, but at least I would be able to.

I see photos of friends getting married, being happily pregnant, having babies on Facebook everyday. I am happy for them…but I couldn’t picture myself in that. I don’t want to be blaming my other half and my kids, when I’m old, for the things I did not do.

Uncertainty

Honestly, I don’t know if there would be a fight at home when the time comes. I don’t know if I would get heaps of passive aggressive talks or if I would disappoint the people I love dearly.

What I do know is if I don’t do this any sooner or later, I will continue to be unhappy with whatever I have. The constant discontentment will drive me crazy one day.

And all I would and could hope for, is to have them by me when I’m done.

Yours Truly

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