Saying Goodbyes

I’m not a Facebook addict – I swear. It’s a boring Sunday and Facebook was one of the means to pass time.

I saw photos of a simple gathering to bid farewell to our old house. Literally old, since my grandparents’ time or before – by the price that had been sold for and could have been more. Heritage.

5 years or more, maybe? Heaps of memories there, I admit. Good and bad. The better ones were the young days.

I learned a lot living in there. I think a lot of my values and principles and beliefs – whom others may say is cynical – were nurtured from there.

  • I learned that I have be independent, strong and look after myself because otherwise, no one will. 
  • I learned that I have to watch out for my family (sadly, like a feisty mother hen) because otherwise, no one will.
  • I learned that I have to always be better than everyone else, so that people wouldn’t look down on us.
  • I learned that I need to have skills and strength that people would want to take advantage of, otherwise I’d be ignored and invisible.
  • I learned that good intentions aren’t necessarily well-received. People are distorted that they would twist and turn your words and intentions to their benefits.
  • I learned that silence isn’t always a virtue – I have to fight for what I want.
  • I learned that….bitches get things done. And darling, you have to be a bigger bitch.
  • I learned that crocodile tears sometimes work too. Putting an act is really that important sometimes.
  • I learned that insecurity need support.

I will never be able to finish listing all the lessons learnt. It’s a family shared house after all.

I will miss her. The corners where I search for inspiration. For sanity. For fantasies. For dreams. Corner where I would hide and write. The all-night telephone conversations I had with my then-boyfriend. Pretending to be discussing homework with my bestie when, well, we were actually whinging. A place where I perfected my mask over the years.

Oh, and my naughty corner. And my favourite yet most love-hate (I still cannot decide till this day) spot: the spot where mom taught me ABCs, 123s, Peter&Jane, Enid Blyton, fairy tales, timetable (or known as multiplying), lectures and reprimands; yet also the spot where mom would feed us super awesome bird’s nest (yes I love Bird’s Nest) and all the finer things.

There were 7 rooms turned to 6, 2 bathrooms and 3 toilets, 3 kitchens, 2 dining areas, and heaps of other spaces/rooms that I wouldn’t know what they are named. It was a good place for playing Hide ‘n’ Seek when we were all kids.

Here are some photos I took many many many years ago.

 Yes, my grandparents’ house has 2 staircase. I would like to believe that this is the reason why I was able to eat like a glutton and still be skinny.

2nd floor hallway The old school vanity basin. Growing up with these makes me appreciate old-school furnitures and antiques. Although, part of it was because of dad.

Huge Ass Balcony This is where I would scream out loud, sing shamelessly, watch over the dogs, or simply come hide from people.

 I remember just staring out and going into my own world. Or secretly sat on the window pane or climbed out of my window and walked on the roof over the first floor – not the one showing, silly – when mom and dad weren’t around. Yes, I had my own “sun bed” .

All the rooms One of the many rooms. I swear, cross my heart, that when I was still living in here it was never this messy. And yes, I had posters of favourite celebrities on my bedroom door and walls – who didn’t?

New Lane Got this from the internet. Ooooh…this crowded lane brings back a lot of memories – young, fierce, and delicious. The food are delicious, despite being over-priced now, if you know all of ’em hawkers. Underlying message: you need my dad.

Sadly, I don’t have the front view of the house. It would be nice, if whoever is on the island, can take one and send it to me. It is the corner red house with a huge side ‘garage’. You will know, when you see the heritage door and windows.

Well, I guess it’s time to say goodbye. For real and forever. Can’t believe I’m actually feeling a bit emotional – I was always eager to leave it behind. Guess I’m getting older.

Oh well, “If you’re brave to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello” – Paulo Coelho

Yours Truly